By Guest contributor.
We all have come across some funny people who can justify their every wrong-action, word or attitude. Perhaps we are such people. How does this attitude form, knowing very well in our daily interaction with people we cant be 100 per cent careful and right?
It is easy first to see why I wouldn’t apologise. In the first place, I may not be aware that I hurt somebody somehow. Don’t gloss over it. It takes some level of awareness to know “right from wrong” in a deeper sense, not just in superficial actions. There are people who spend years and years in jail and even with all evidence for their wrongdoing, they have never become aware of how they could have been wrong!
Two, apologising goes against my ego pride. To apologise is to admit “we are equal”! For the ego, there is nothing like that. It is either I Am above you or you are below me! When is the last time your parent apologised to you? How can the “higher” apologise to the “lower”? It again takes deep awareness to realise our inherent common essence or humanness. Our ego identity is the greatest barrier to this realization.
Lastly, some non-apologisers have simply been hurt or disappointed for too long in life that they have put up defences against being hurt again. To apologise is to “lower your guard” and this frightens many people. It is to be vulnerable. So next time you feel you cant apologise, try to feel how you are hitting back at an unfair world which you feel doesn’t have your best interests at heart.
Use these thoughts to help you deepen self-awareness and compassion for those hurting non-apologisers who have hardened their hearts against life.
