By Steve Mutua.
Paddy is called as the prime witness in an assault case but gets things a little mixed up in his account of the affair.
“It was Dennis who started it all, your honor,” begins Paddy. “He trod on my foot. So I pushed him off and smacked him on the jaw. Just then, his dog ran up and I hit him again.”
“Hit the dog?” asks the judge. “No, your honor, I hit Dennis. Then I picked up a stone and threw it at him and it rolled him over and over.”
“Threw a stone at Dennis?” asks the judge. “At the dog, your honor. Then he got up and hit me again.”
“The dog?” asks the judge. “No, Dennis. And with that he stuck his tail between his legs and ran off.”
“Dennis?” asks the judge. “No, the dog,” says Paddy. “And when he came back at me, he got me down and pounded me, your honor.”
“The dog came back at you?” asks the judge. “No, Dennis, your honor. And he was not hurt at all.”
“Who was not hurt?” asks the judge. “The dog, your honor,” says Paddy.
The judge scratches his head and fines the dog ten dollars.
