WHEN THE EGO WINS, THE SOUL WEEPS
Have you experienced that deep fear of being found out? I have. For a long time. Even when I could justify my actions and attitudes, something kept pestering me somewhere deep inside.
Then there is that relief that you feel when you have been found out! It is the relief of facing truth or reality. And whats the reality? It is that the universe is just and fair.
It always happens that whenever we overcome resistance of the ego and face the truth, a huge relief follows. Its like a huge burden has been lifted off our shoulders.
Our mistakes and transgressions can be corrected, but a belief in a universe where evil could win cannot be corrected and is a very frightening and a dismal prospect.
A related manifestation is its converse: Whenever you seem to get away with your lower self, the ego, the momentary triumph is very shallow and covers a deep despair.
Your dual nature is in constant battle here. One part strongly aims for covering, justifying, projecting, and thereby increasing the lower-self energies and activities. If you can deceive and “win” with your negativity, your evil, your destructive attitudes, you realistically and logically conclude that Creation as a whole is untrustworthy and chaotic.
This is perhaps one of the most unbearable pains in the human soul!
Thats why I say, when the ego “wins”, the soul weeps. Investigate and see how you experience all this in your life.