IF YOU GREW UP IN A BROKEN HOME, YOU ARE LIKELY TO BECOME CODEPENDENT IN RELATIONSHIPS
Codependency in relationships is when one partner places the needs of the other before their own. It goes beyond being nice all the time. The codependent puts their own needs, feelings and desires in the background.
They worry incessantly about their partners needs to the point where there is no room for expression of their own. Codependent people don’t live their lives to make themselves happy. Instead, they live according the needs of their partners without taking any time to figure out what they need and express those needs.
Over time, a codependent person actually FORGETS what her or his needs, desires, feelings about things even are! In one cartoon which captures this dynamic, the husband and wife are looking at each other over their menus in a restaurant. The husband says to the wife, “I forget, which one of us doesn’t like fish?”
If the person one is catering to is a controlling person it can become almost like a form of domestic violence. The more one gives, the more the partner takes to the point that one virtually ceases to be a separate person. Eventually, resentment and unhappiness take root in the relationship. Their partner has no idea there is a problem. To them, everything is going great!
Many codependent people come from homes where their emotional needs were not met. Their parents were not able to provide the attention, warmth and responsiveness which children need in order to feel that their needs count. The children grow up feeling that their needs do NOT matter and are unimportant.
The next worst thing about being codependent is we pass it on to our children, and in them, our symptoms are hugely magnified.