The Three Stages in psycho spiritual development in Individuals & Relationship


By Steve Mutua

30th December 2018

In our psychospiritual evolutionary journey, the journey back to childlike self- awareness, we move from PERSONALITY STAGE then to INDIVIDUALITY STAGE and finally enter into our DIVINITY STAGE where we complete the journey! Our interpersonal relationships also follow a similar gradual unfolding! They evolve from DEPENDENCE STAGE (this corresponds to the personality stage), to INDEPENDENCE STAGE ( corresponding to the individuality stage) then to INTERDEPENDENCE STAGE (the divinity stage or level in personal evolution).

The PERSONALITY is dependent on outside opinion! It is childish! It is tossed to and fro by any opinion from anywhere! Telll a personality “you are beautiful” and it is in high heavens. After three minutes tell it “you are ugly” and it is in the deepest hell! Thats the nature of the personality stage. Its important to remember the word personality comes from “persona” which means “masked sound”! It came from Greek classical art where one actor would change masks in a play to adopt different roles. A personality is a crowd, many selves or masks, each for every anticipated situation! In a relationship, the personality stage in a person becomes DEPENDENCE! This is when the woman is always asking her man; “How do I look in this dress”? and the man says, “Great”, even when the beloved looks like a pregnant warthog! At this stage, one cant afford to be true! It is very dangerous to be true! The capacity isnt even there for truth!

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Next is the INDIVIDUALITY stage which represents the INDEPENDENCE stage in relationships. Here the honeymoon of childish dependence has ended and everyone feels the need to assert their independence from the other! The ego is coming to its peak now and one can risk being true to themselves, though still acknowledging the need for the other! Many nasty divorces happen at this stage. The desire for self assertion is greater than the need for acceptance from the other. One is becoming their own person now!

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If one navigates the INDEPENDENCE stage successfully, one is naturally ushered to the DIVINITY stage. At this stage, the INDIVIDUAL gets lost into the oceanic universal conciousness. Relationships now are no more about me and my needs but about US and even the larger world. They become INTERDEPENDENT. Here, the couple can remember their former selfishness at the INDIVIDUAL stage and laugh about it! They now not only feel but acknowledge the need for each other without pretence! As for the individual, their sense of oneness with the universe is heightened and the pain of ego separateness is gone!

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Relationships thrive when partners evolve at almost same rate! However, should one go beyond the other, the one more evolved has a responsibility to help the other to come up higher! Thats partly the reason why most people frown on divorce! Having transcended a lower stage, the more evolved person can use their state to help raise the others conciousness in wisdom!