By Steve Mutua.
When we are alone and single, we have these grandiose illusions of how beautiful, saintly and civilised we are. Without a mirror, we are very beautiful!
Then enter the mirror of the soul, a partner or a spouse, and all the ugliness you could not see in yourself gets exposed. Then you start blaming and destroying the mirror, because it is destroying your illusions about yourself.
Sooner or later, you and the mirror are destroyed, and then the inevitable breakdown of the relationship. When this happens several times, many people simply harden their hearts more to lock out vulnerability, and because the need for human contact is natural, they become dictatorial in their relationships and adopt the “my way or the highway” attitude.
This is their distorted means of keeping themselves safe from further hurt. But it is the wrong attitude. It makes life very miserable.